Dausab Said It:‘Men Are Spouses Too!’

Hold on to your cattle herding hats, folks! Did the honourable Veikko Nekundi and many more misunderstand the phrase “spousal maintenance” to mean only women should be supported after divorce? Or is there something else they fear?

Now everybody is running around claiming the honourable Yvonne Dausab is setting men up for major maintenance orders while making it easy for women to leave marriages. Can someone please educate poor me?

Comrade, if you are getting divorced and you think you need (need, not want) support, and your ex can afford it, stand your man and ask the court for a little something when you split.

Be a man and admit it when you need help. I promise I won’t laugh.

Imagine you’ve been grafting your ass off to build the home, only to see it chopped up in the split. Now picture your ex, the one you helped launch that booming ‘order-with-me’ business, rolling in dough while you struggle. Broer, park your ego. Break into tears and roll on the courtroom floor, if that’s what it takes. Tell the judge you won’t manage without her moola. Finish en klaar.

It’s 2024! This isn’t about some outdated image of masculinity, it’s about fairness.

Newsflash, honourable Nekundi and many more! This law applies equally! Yes, that means men can claim their fair share, too. Or at least, that is what I thought. If there is something else meant, let Dausab come out with it.

Alright, let’s not forget the big question everyone’s whispering about: how does this ‘saamleef’ situation in Katutura play into the law? We all know folks who’ve been living together for a decade, only to split up, with the man leaving empty-handed except for his thick Chinese-made blanket and his ‘kashitindi’ (construction) uniform clothes.

These need fixing too!

Here’s the thing: 10 years together is practically marriage without the paperwork. These couples are living like spouses but the law offers them zero protection. So, Dausab (from Penning Street), let’s get real. Can we include a clear clause for these long-term saamleef partnerships? Forget fancy terms like “life partnerships”, keep it simple and call it the “Katutura Saamleef Clause”. Everyone will understand what it means, and that’s what matters.

My point is when they split, it must also just be handled like a divorce. We are tired man!

On the other hand, let’s be honest. Namibian men, you’re a tough bunch. You can handle a little change. And who knows, maybe this new law will even lead to more amicable divorces.

Imagine a world where exes can braai together without plotting each other’s demise with the braai tongs. Now that’s a Namibian dream worth fighting for!

Oh, I almost forgot to talk about the only people who should object to this new law. The real victims in all this are the Namibian law firms! You could practically hear the collective gasp echo through the courtrooms when the whispers of the new divorce law first hit the streets.

Gone are the days of year-long legal battles and drawn-out dramas that funded their mahogany desks and dinners at Strand Hotel. Now, with the promise of swifter, more streamlined divorces, these legal eagles are facing a financial cliff steeper than Dune 7.

I can imagine senior partners, once sporting smug smiles and Rolex watches the size of dinner plates, are now huddled around water coolers, muttering about a bygone era. Junior associates, fresh out of law school with dreams of billable hours and holidays at Langstrand apartments, are left bewildered.

The desperate scribbling of legal briefs has been replaced by frantic googling of “alternative revenue streams for law firms”. There’s even talk of renting out spare office space for yoga classes. The legal jungle is in chaos because, admit it, they loved the mayhem.

In the end, I believe that Dausab has cleared the air that the law is meant to be fair to everyone. Of course, she can’t say much for judges who might be tempted to grant spousal maintenance to women with bias, in the hope of filling the vacant posts. Haha.

On the other hand, women too have concerns that they are probably overlooking as they are seduced by the idea of waking up one morning and getting divorced in two hours.

This bill cuts both ways, which means you can stop hyperventilating over your collection of Swapo T-shirts from 19-voetsek. Think of it as an opportunity! This is about fairness, not some attack on Namibian masculinity. So, dust off your legal savvy, gents, and consider a prenup if sharing your cows in Mangetti is a move too far.