Sibongile officially a solo star

The first thing you need to know about ‘No Boys Allowed’ is that Sibongile walked in with a man on a leash.

The second thing of riotous report is the fact that, when her lips got dry, she called the fellow back, ran her finger across his ripped, baby oiled chest and then used the sheen to moisturise her bright red pout.

At this point we could all have packed up, gone home and called it the best thing we’ve seen all year. But it turns out that the young comedienne was just getting started. With a line of head wraps. Impetus being: “if Maria Nepembe can do it, so can I”.

Stepping out loud and proud as Namibia’s first female to headline her own comedy show, Sibongile hit a hilarious home run in a one-hour performance that married local lunacy with pop culture amidst a celebration of female friendship and shared shocks to the system.

All girl-centric, all the time from the old Hollywood style ticket booth to the fully femme hip-hop playlist featuring the likes of Missy Elliot, Aaliyah and Eve replete with the constant flow of eye candy in the form of saucy guest poet Meta, awesome opener Mark Kariahuua and some glistening young bucks treating women to their daily dose of ‘Magic Mike XXL’ (2015), ‘No Boys Allowed’ was glamorously, grinningly, gloriously audacious.

Playing less like straight stand-up and more like a rather risqué episode of Oprah, Sibongile chatted to her guests with expressive ease while expounding on how men are like MTC Aweh packages, the role of the pretty one in a girl squad and the curse of hooking up with a man with Godzilla toes because who needs ribbons for sheets.

Fun, funny and perfectly paced, ‘No Boys Allowed’ was a prime example of meticulous preparation and attention to detail. Ever involving in the audience and laughing at them and herself, Sibongile solidified her status as a solo star with a head for hype as seen during the event’s video campaign, #sibolala punt and general spamming.

The result was a full house that preceded a standing ovation that left every comedy event of this year choking on the vivacious comedienne’s dust.

Never one to let a diss go without being dismissed, revenge for Slick the Dick’s random quip about her weight was served cold about a half an hour into her set when discussing marriages. Asking for a show of hands of married men and seeing Free Your Mind co-founder Slick the Dick grinning knowingly, Sibongile was quick with a: “Slick, what are you married to exactly? Your three dreadlocks?”

Ladies and gentlemen, if Sibongile can publically insult the man paying her for the gig, you know that no one is safe.

From asking people seated next to each other whether they are couples and watching the men cringe while the women glare at them expectantly to lovingly listing some male traits and getting those who identify with them to raise their hands before telling the girls to thank her for identifying the f*ckboys, Sibongile expertly kept the audience on their toes while the men dodged bullets.

Offering advice to men, laughing at the feminine foibles of women and earning eye-watering guffaws with her theatrical reenactments of the talk show ‘Trisha’, the cute comedienne kept it local, contemporary and filled with side-splitting notions like the blinding length of “eyelash weaves”.

“Not just a comedy show but life lessons,” ‘No Boys Allowed’ was simply a triumph. For Sibongile, for local ladies in comedy and for Free Your Mind whose 2015 comedy calendar has been unprecedentedly more hit than miss.

If you believe anything this week, believe this: Not being at last Thursday’s show was you disrespecting your whole life while missing out on local arts history and the making of a solo star.

That said and to sum up the show in a sentence: The best thing about ‘No Boys Allowed’ was that Sibongile had a ball.

And so did we.