Mama Said, Father Said

Like matriarchs the world over, Forrest Gump’s mother had many a wise word for her legendary son. However, the story that stuck with him was that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”.

Existential, sweet and ironically advice to anticipate surprise, Mrs Gumps’ words are just the kind of thing we’ve all heard our mothers say to help smooth the way as we navigate life, love and the boys hanging out by the gate.

A little less saccharine than the musings of Mrs Gump and with that exceptionally African ability to conjure the spectre of a solid boxing about the ears, Namibian moms and dads are adept at dishing out more functional bites of reality.

Some of the best advice Ahty Nestor ever got from his father was “as a man without a kid, do not marry a woman with another man’s kid. Dig your own hole. Don’t finish a half dug hole by another man!”

Oozing that bucolic African idiom mystique, the crux of Nestor Senior’s wisdom seems to be that you should do things for yourself and, should you consider entering into the digging of one’s own grave that is marriage, have your own children with a woman once a whiz with contraception.

Shrewd with advice when it comes to the ladies and also with statistics, Nestor’s father also told him never to “fight over a woman. Walk away. You will find another one. They are seven more than us!” Ah, yes. There are indeed many more fish in the sea and as for Nestor Senior’s advice to junior when he finds one: “Treat every woman like your mother and sister. Do not fight or beat a woman.”

An adviser and a gentleman, Nestor Senior’s advice seems imparted with the hope that Nestor the Younger will lead a respectable and happily wedded life.

Also thinking long term is Namene Brown Fürchtgott’s mother whose most memorable advice to her is “don’t think those boys hanging out by the gate are going to marry you”. Frank, serviceable and with a pinch of soothsaying, Namene’s mother’s counsel comes in handy when deciding who is likely to blossom into your one true love at a later date. To be clear, it won’t be the boy by the gate.

A few more words of wisdom from Namene mother are “don’t hang out in the streets, I don’t like street ideas or stories, they’re not good”. Throwing some major shade on the likes of ‘West Side Story’ (1961), Menace to Society’ (2013) and ‘Fast Furious 7’(2015), it’s clear that Namene’s mom doesn’t want her hanging out by the gate or in the streets. Namene, stay inside, girl. It’s a jungle out there.

“Chasing girls is a worthless venture. Remember a magnet never begs for iron, flowers never beg for butterflies, maidens never beg for suitors. Work on your being and, when you’re successful, ladies come chasing you… left, right and centre. Never forget this.” So says Paxson Carnalito’s father and over the years, Paxson has found it to be true.

From boys who won’t marry you to pregnant futures, the best advice Matongo Vincent Matali ever got from his father was “my son, remember that the future is always pregnant and no one can predict the time it gives birth so the road that you will join will be hard. Victory is the time the future gives birth”.

When considering such success, Janet Wicks’ father was wise in the words “in every deal you make, there must be something for everyone” while Lukas Mwaamenange’s father told him “hard work will never kill you, and have a positive attitude always. Even when you are in trouble!”

From fathers to mothers and we have a word about etiquette from the woman who made sure Ehi Romuhona Mbakurupa wouldn’t walk into anything obscene. “My mama taught me how to knock. I don’t just open the door like that.”

After a lesson in politeness, we consider pilfering in Johanna Twaloloka Nalimanguluke Nashipili’s father’s advice regarding working for the government: “If you happen to be a government employee, do not steal anything from the government, not even five cents. You will get arrested”.

And last but not least, in a bid for soothing tones and self-preservation, Lesley Varee’s father advised her to “always care for my family and respect my elders”.

Yes, indeed. Respect your elders and then write about them in a comments section so their astute observations and preludes to ‘I told you so’ can be printed.

And praised.

The comments for ‘Mama Said, Father Said’ were sourced from a call out on ’s Facebook page. Thanks to all who contributed.