Love prevails in the face of rejection, ridicule

“We are so incredibly happy. We cry for joy,” is how Namibian citizen Anette Seiler and her German partner, Anita Seiler-Lilles, reacted to last week’s judgement by the Supreme Court of Namibia recognising their same-sex marriage.

For the past six years, the two have been engaged in a relentless battle with the government to have their marriage, which was concluded outside the country, legally recognised in Namibia in order for Seiler-Lilles to be granted spousal immigration rights.

Alongside them in this quest were South African national Daniel Digashu and his husband, Namibian citizen Johann Potgieter, who were fighting for the same thing.

The couples faced various challenges throughout their journey, however, their unwavering commitment and the support they received from the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, intersex and other (LGBTQI+) community and its allies culminated in a historic victory.

They recently spoke to The Namibian, revealing their joy, relief and hopes for a more inclusive future.

ANITA AND ANETTE: ‘A SIGH OF RELIEF’

“I was walking on the beach here at Henties Bay and I was thinking about this whole story. We didn’t sleep well and I thought about the worst case – leaving the country. I was scared this could happen,” Seiler said shortly after the delivery of the judgement.

It dawned on her then how much their lives would change had the court made an unfavourable decision, she said.

“I realised that I would be depressed if we couldn’t live here […] and now this relief. We don’t have anything to fear anymore and that is such a relief,” she said, sighing heavily.

It has been a turbulent journey filled with a multitude of constraints for the couple, who now look forward to simply savouring the tranquility of their home, cherishing the freedom to travel abroad and relishing a life unburdened by the weight of uncertainty.

“Would we have lost, we’d have big and complicated next steps but now the next step is just to enjoy the fact that we can stay here in Namibia, in our house and we do not have to fear that Anita has to leave at the end of the month and we do not have to get another tourist visa extension.”

“If we want to travel we can do so, if we want to stay we can do so. So, that’s our next step – just to be happy, to be relaxed, to be relieved and then to plan things that don’t have anything to do with home affairs,” Seiler said.

DANIEL AND JOHANN: ‘A NEW CHAPTER OF CLARITY AND FREEDOM’

Ecstatic and relieved, Daniel Digashu shared his profound sense of liberation after the landmark judgement. For him and his husband, Johann, it signifies a newfound clarity and certainty, he said.

“Our life is here […] this place is home. So, I am more than happy at the idea of not having to leave. That is out of the window now and we can actually start feeling secure.

“We have been building [our lives] with this uncertainty, but you don’t get to enjoy the process of building a home that way,” he said.
Similar to Seiler and Seiler-Lilles, the couple’s immediate plans involve embracing the freedom to travel without the constant questioning and mistreatment they endured due to their legal battles.

“I’ve mentioned just how horrible it has been trying to travel with visitor visa stamps, being questioned, being treated so unkindly because of our matters being with the courts. I know that most of our fellow litigants had just avoided travelling altogether. So, now we are going to travel before anything else,” he said.

Beyond the realm of travel, Digashu eagerly anticipates the opportunity to work without discrimination, embracing the ability to pursue his dreams and aspirations on equal footing with others.

The family made many plans for their lives together, which were thwarted by his inability to gain employment authorisation as a spouse of a Namibian national.

“Then there is the freedom to hustle just like anyone else, knowing that I may work because now the Supreme Court says so,” he said.

Digashu said the knowledge that they can continue to build their lives in Namibia fills them with unbridled happiness, releasing the heavy weight of potential displacement and allowing them to truly call this place home.

SOLIDARITY AND THE POWER OF COMMUNITY

Both couples gratefully acknowledged the immense support they received throughout their arduous journey.

This support extended beyond the LGBTQI+ community to encompass a diverse range of Namibians who stood up for justice and equality.

They highlighted the unity that prevailed, emphasising the significance of not feeling alone in their fight. To them this victory is not just their own; it is a triumph for all those who dared to hope for a more inclusive Namibia.

“We had so much support from not only the gay and lesbian community in Namibia, who were really behind us and fighting for us and we felt the wave of support […] But also many other Namibians who are not gay or lesbian, who just said ‘we can’t understand why this is an issue’.

“This support really helped us through all these years, knowing that other people were there and we are not alone, that many said ‘go for it, do it, we will support you’. That was so important for us and I really want to thank everybody who stood behind us and supported us,” Seiler said.
Digashu echoed this sentiment, recognising that their triumph transcends personal success.

He said the judgement holds profound implications for the entire LGBTQI+ community, opening doors and shattering barriers.

“This means for the LGBTQI+ community in Namibia, the sky’s the limit. The door is now cracked open. There’s just so much potential, so many possibilities,” he said.

Namibia becomes the second country on the continent to recognise same-sex marriages concluded in other jurisdictions.

As the country takes this step towards a more inclusive society, the stories of these two couples demonstrate the importance of collectively fighting for equality.