Expat Filipino maids leave lonely children at home

MANILA – Fourteen-year-old Jaypherso Terencio cries in secret at home over his mother, who has worked as a maid in Hong Kong for much of his life.

Terencio suspects his friends do the same but no one talks about it. In the schoolyard, only ‘sissies’ weep.”I just want to see my Mum,” said the soft-spoken teenager.”But you don’t show your feelings at school.”Terencio is one of millions of Filipino children whose mothers have left the Southeast Asian country to work overseas, mostly as maids, to support their families back home, in a country where nearly 50 per cent of households live on less than $2 a day.With more people joining the labour force than jobs created, many Philippine parents are faced with a cruel choice; raise your kids in grinding poverty or offer them a brighter future by leaving them for a job abroad.Maribel Terencio went to work as a maid in Hong Kong when Jaypherso was two years old and his brother, Prisco Jr., was 7.Twelve years later she’s still there, saving almost everything she earns, only able to afford to return to the nearby Philippines for one week every year.Due to the cost of telephone calls, she communicates with her children mostly via mobile phone text messages.”We have an agreement that my wife will come back to the Philippines when the children have finished school,” said Prisco Sr., over coffee and bread rolls at his modest, two-storey house, built using Maribel’s earnings.”We have made sacrifices for the sake of the kids, for the family,” said the 43-year-old, who works as a security guard and cooks, cleans and cares for his sons in between shifts.So far, the Terencios’ plan has paid off.Prisco Jr., is studying mechanical technology and Jaypherso, is doing well at school despite pining for his mother.MACHO SOCIETY Other families have not been so lucky.In a stubbornly macho society, many fathers are uncomfortable becoming full-time parents when their wives move abroad and either shirk their responsibilities or leave the upbringing to female relatives.Children often become more sensitive when their mothers leave and tears, tantrums and bedwetting are common.Over time, “Mum” becomes a distant memory, a lady in a photo who calls a few times a month and sends presents at Christmas.Trouble brews when children hit adolescence and start to resent this stranger’s attempts to discipline them long-distance.”Among children, the main problem is dropping out of school,” said Imelda Rebate, a social worker in Quezon City, northern Metro Manila.”I don’t think it’s worthwhile for parents to go abroad.It’s better to stay here and guide the children.”Every day some 3 000 Filipinos move abroad for work.Nearly three quarters of those newly hired workers are women taking jobs as maids, nurses and entertainers, mainly in the Middle East and other parts of Asia such as Hong Kong and Singapore.Around 10 per cent of the country’s estimated 86 million population live abroad.Successive governments have championed this exodus because of the short-term economic gain.After India and Mexico, the Philippines is the third largest recipient of remittances in the world with a record $10.7 billion officially sent home by its expatriate workforce last year and a further $11.87 billion expected in 2006.Nampa/ReutersIn the schoolyard, only ‘sissies’ weep.”I just want to see my Mum,” said the soft-spoken teenager.”But you don’t show your feelings at school.”Terencio is one of millions of Filipino children whose mothers have left the Southeast Asian country to work overseas, mostly as maids, to support their families back home, in a country where nearly 50 per cent of households live on less than $2 a day.With more people joining the labour force than jobs created, many Philippine parents are faced with a cruel choice; raise your kids in grinding poverty or offer them a brighter future by leaving them for a job abroad.Maribel Terencio went to work as a maid in Hong Kong when Jaypherso was two years old and his brother, Prisco Jr., was 7.Twelve years later she’s still there, saving almost everything she earns, only able to afford to return to the nearby Philippines for one week every year.Due to the cost of telephone calls, she communicates with her children mostly via mobile phone text messages.”We have an agreement that my wife will come back to the Philippines when the children have finished school,” said Prisco Sr., over coffee and bread rolls at his modest, two-storey house, built using Maribel’s earnings.”We have made sacrifices for the sake of the kids, for the family,” said the 43-year-old, who works as a security guard and cooks, cleans and cares for his sons in between shifts.So far, the Terencios’ plan has paid off.Prisco Jr., is studying mechanical technology and Jaypherso, is doing well at school despite pining for his mother.MACHO SOCIETY Other families have not been so lucky.In a stubbornly macho society, many fathers are uncomfortable becoming full-time parents when their wives move abroad and either shirk their responsibilities or leave the upbringing to female relatives.Children often become more sensitive when their mothers leave and tears, tantrums and bedwetting are common.Over time, “Mum” becomes a distant memory, a lady in a photo who calls a few times a month and sends presents at Christmas.Trouble brews when children hit adolescence and start to resent this stranger’s attempts to discipline them long-distance.”Among children, the main problem is dropping out of school,” said Imelda Rebate, a social worker in Quezon City, northern Metro Manila.”I don’t think it’s worthwhile for parents to go abroad.It’s better to stay here and guide the children.”Every day some 3 000 Filipinos move abroad for work.Nearly three quarters of those newly hired workers are women taking jobs as maids, nurses and entertainers, mainly in the Middle East and other parts of Asia such as Hong Kong and Singapore.Around 10 per cent of the country’s estimated 86 million population live abroad.Successive governments have championed this exodus because of the short-term economic gain.After India and Mexico, the Philippines is the third largest recipient of remittances in the world with a record $10.7 billion officially sent home by its expatriate workforce last year and a further $11.87 billion expected in 2006.Nampa/Reuters