Big Brother Africa 3: The ‘two-minute noodle’ dangles again

SADLY, hunky Finnish housemate Johan is off our screens and back in his own Big Brother house in Finland, leaving women all across the continent in mourning.

At the same time Munya was being magically returned to Africa and Tawana’s open arms, well not her arms really – more like another pair of limbs. On Saturday afternoon the housemates were treated to a magic show.Magician extraordinaire Larry Soffer had the housemates and viewers enthralled with his mix of unexplainable and quite freaky tricks.I’ve always been really wary of magicians because I can’t stand not knowing how they do what they do – this guy was no exception.He can read minds.Telling Hazel to think of a man’s name he stared into her eyes and then somehow – who the hell knows exactly – he said she was thinking of her younger brother Tony.Ok, he could have done some research on her and taken a lucky guess but how did he figure out that Ricco was thinking of a shaggy dog whose Portuguese name translated to Shaggy? And how did he know that Tawana had drawn a mushroom? Freaky stuff.But it got worse.He also bent, spun around and eventually melted a fork without touching it at all.MAMBO NO 3 The best part was the trick where he made Munya appear magically – the housemates went mad, jumping up and down ecstatically and welcoming him home.After that the housemates partied, first inside the house, then relocating to the pool where Munya and Tawana could barely disguise the fact that they are hot as hell for each other.Weird to watch.Who would have ever predicted that these two would hook up? I just never saw it coming.Not that I think it’s true love.No, with these two it’s more a case of horniness trumping sexual frustration.Anyways, Tanya – as they are now being called (some of these name combo’s are just so lame) hit the sheets again for the horizontal mambo part 2, or is it 3? Once again, dedicated reporter that I am, I just HAD to watch, hoping that Munya might redeem himself with say …lasting just a few minutes.I’m very disappointed to have to tell you that the two-minute noodle has not graduated to even five minutes.The blondified Zimbabwean went at it madly for about two minutes and then sort of just lay there for some time before sliding off Tawana.The image of rabbits mating comes to mind.Munya, Munya, Munya – please dude, you are spoiling any chance you have of getting any action on the outside.What woman in her right mind would knowingly go to bed with him knowing that all they can look forward to is a few minutes of selfish sex? He definitely has a lot to learn when it comes to pleasing a woman.Two minutes does not cut it – by far.Anyways – this time the two of them actually shagged while TK was in the room, lying on the bed right next to theirs and awake.Gasp! Sies, guys – have some decency.It’s bad enough that you have to assault the viewers with your thrashing about but to torture another person and put them through that? Not cool.SPLASHING ABOUT Anyways, on to more savoury matters.Morris learned to swim this weekend.Yay for Morris! When Biggie instructed the housemates to work on a synchronised swimming routine – Morris jumped right in.I think that is so cool.Some less secure people would have felt embarrassed about not being able to swim but not him.The 29-year-old Ugandan seems to be quite a sweet guy.Ok, sometimes he does get that weird, evil glint in his eye and he does have a very strange way of expressing himself but I think when it comes down to it, his heart is in the right place.I can’t say the same for TK who it seems can’t bear to be separated from his beloved brown jersey for even a minute.He, as is quite typical, decided to sit out the synchronised swimming task.Oh well, I have a feeling that by now he has been rightfully booted out of the BBA house (eviction results not in at time of going to print) and we no longer have to suffer the sight of him any longer.* Keep watching Channel 198 for all the 24-hour action.Check out the daily highlights shows on Channel 102 every evening at 20h00 and Sunday shows at 19h00.Also, keep sending your views to bba@namibian.com.naOn Saturday afternoon the housemates were treated to a magic show.Magician extraordinaire Larry Soffer had the housemates and viewers enthralled with his mix of unexplainable and quite freaky tricks.I’ve always been really wary of magicians because I can’t stand not knowing how they do what they do – this guy was no exception.He can read minds.Telling Hazel to think of a man’s name he stared into her eyes and then somehow – who the hell knows exactly – he said she was thinking of her younger brother Tony.Ok, he could have done some research on her and taken a lucky guess but how did he figure out that Ricco was thinking of a shaggy dog whose Portuguese name translated to Shaggy? And how did he know that Tawana had drawn a mushroom? Freaky stuff.But it got worse.He also bent, spun around and eventually melted a fork without touching it at all. MAMBO NO 3 The best part was the trick where he made Munya appear magically – the housemates went mad, jumping up and down ecstatically and welcoming him home.After that the housemates partied, first inside the house, then relocating to the pool where Munya and Tawana could barely disguise the fact that they are hot as hell for each other.Weird to watch.Who would have ever predicted that these two would hook up? I just never saw it coming.Not that I think it’s true love.No, with these two it’s more a case of horniness trumping sexual frustration. Anyways, Tanya – as they are now being called (some of these name combo’s are just so lame) hit the sheets again for the horizontal mambo part 2, or is it 3? Once again, dedicated reporter that I am, I just HAD to watch, hoping that Munya might redeem himself with say …lasting just a few minutes.I’m very disappointed to have to tell you that the two-minute noodle has not graduated to even five minutes.The blondified Zimbabwean went at it madly for about two minutes and then sort of just lay there for some time before sliding off Tawana.The image of rabbits mating comes to mind.Munya, Munya, Munya – please dude, you are spoiling any chance you have of getting any action on the outside.What woman in her right mind would knowingly go to bed with him knowing that all they can look forward to is a few minutes of selfish sex? He definitely has a lot to learn when it comes to pleasing a woman.Two minutes does not cut it – by far.Anyways – this time the two of them actually shagged while TK was in the room, lying on the bed right next to theirs and awake.Gasp! Sies, guys – have some decency.It’s bad enough that you have to assault the viewers with your thrashing about but to torture another person and put them through that? Not cool.SPLASHING ABOUT Anyways, on to more savoury matters.Morris learned to swim this weekend.Yay for Morris! When Biggie instructed the housemates to work on a synchronised swimming routine – Morris jumped right in.I think that is so cool.Some less secure people would have felt embarrassed about not being able to swim but not him.The 29-year-old Ugandan seems to be quite a sweet guy.Ok, sometimes he does get that weird, evil glint in his eye and he does have a very strange way of expressing himself but I think when it comes down to it, his heart is in the right place.I can’t say the same for TK who it seems can’t bear to be separated from his beloved brown jersey for even a minute.He, as is quite typical, decided to sit out the synchronised swimming task.Oh well, I have a feeling that by now he has been rightfully booted out of the BBA house (eviction results not in at time of going to print) and we no longer have to suffer the sight of him any longer. * Keep watching Channel 198 for all the 24-hour action.Check out the daily highlights shows on Channel 102 every evening at 20h00 and Sunday shows at 19h00.Also, keep sending your views to bba@namibian.com.na