Hide Your Children 

When I was in high school, a classmate of mine told me that she was getting married soon.

We were in Grade 12, and she spoke to me a few times about the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She told me they were already practically living together and she cared deeply for his small daughter, occasionally playing the role of stepmother.

I remember finding this extremely fascinating, especially the day he came to pick her up from school on a motorcycle and she introduced him to a few of us. This was a man, well over the age of 30, shaking the hands of 17-year-old girls, as though he were our peer.

A while later, a few people in my class were discussing this man and his soon to be child bride. My teacher overheard the conversation and told us the rabbit hole was a lot deeper than we all initially thought. This relationship with my teenage classmate was not some once in a lifetime, random or accidental occurrence. No, this was how this gentleman operated. He lurked in the shadows of our high school and dated teenage girls.

Our teacher pointed to a picture on the wall of her class. It was an idyllic scene of former pupils of hers on a class trip. Something about the image stood out to us. One of the girls in the photos was heavily pregnant. Our teacher told us the saddest story in the world – of this teenage mother, and her predator baby daddy. The picture was a few years old at that point, meaning the baby had already been born.

We all did a few calculations in our mind and realised that the baby was the two or three-year-old our classmate proudly referred to as her stepdaughter. This man had impregnated a pupil, who grew up, then he preyed upon another pupil, who was now wiping that baby’s nose and feeding her porridge in the evenings.

It’s been years since this happened and I think about the situation often. Every now and then I might see his Facebook profile or he comes up in conversation when my friends and I are discussing the many predators we encountered when we were young.

I have disliked him all this time, but it took my brain actually fully developing to understand the depths of just how vile he is.

This is the reason why children need to be protected. When I was in Grade 12, I thought this was a bit of salacious gossip. I thought it was scandalous and fascinating and crazy. My brain could not possibly comprehend how disgusting his behaviour was, because I was a literal child.

Why does a grown man want to date and have sex with children who cannot grasp the weight of their actions?

What’s most worrying is that this man most likely thinks his exploits are justified because I’m pretty sure my friend’s family knew of their relationship and might have found nothing wrong with it.

Does that surprise you? It shouldn’t. I know of many instances like this where families allow their children to be abused, either because of poverty, lingering family trauma or they just lack the humanity that would help them properly protect their kin.

I myself thought I was grown when I really wasn’t. I was so stupid at that age and I genuinely had no clue how dangerous the world is. Thankfully, I had strict parents who kept me inside the house.

When I look back, I am grossed out by the grown men who once flattered me. I have some serious questions for the many repulsive men, some of whom I still know today, on why they thought pursuing me was a normal thing to do.

Many men live in this fantasy world where they believe, no matter how old and revolting they are, they are deserving of some young virginal bride and that she will like them back equally.

The reality is they want to be with children, because children aren’t self-aware, confident or intelligent enough yet to see them for who they are.

You think you are some sort of Casanova, but to most of us, you are a shameful and embarrassing memory. And it just takes a bit of frontal lobe development for us to come to our senses.

I lost contact with that girl after high school, but thankfully I don’t think they got married. A part of me is certain he is still out there, up to his old tricks.

Luckily for him, he will continue to get away with it because we live in a world that protects evil people. Even speaking about this in my column is taboo. If I mention his name, I would be in way more trouble than he would be. On a societal scale, this will continue to be an issue, as long as we prefer peace over the truth.

–  Anne Hambuda is a writer, social commentator and poet. Follow her online or email her 

annehambuda@gmail.com for more.