Polygamy: A Man’s Game or a Woman’s Right?

Namibian men are all up in arms, demanding their right to marry multiple wives. And why not? It’s a man’s world, after all.

That is until the women hit back with “we also want to marry multiple men!”

It’s been quite a hot topic in Namibia lately, hasn’t it?

I remember when I first heard about this debate. I was sitting at a local bar, nursing a cold one, when a group of guys started discussing the merits of polygamy. One of them was going on and on about how it was a “traditional” way of life and how women were supposed to be submissive to their husbands.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was like something out of a medieval fairy tale. I mean, who even believes that kind of stuff anymore?

You see, there was a time when a young woman who fell pregnant outside of marriage would be called an “oshikumbu” and be burnt to death. We don’t do this anymore, do we?

But then, as soon as the women started talking about their right to marry multiple husbands, suddenly the tune changed. It’s like a record scratching to a screeching halt. The men were all, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! That’s not what we meant!”

It’s almost like they’re saying, “Polygamy is great, as long as it’s my privilege. Don’t you dare try to take a piece of that pie for yourself, woman!”

I mean, come on, fellas. If it’s okay for you to have multiple wives, why isn’t it okay for women to have multiple husbands? Is it because you’re afraid they’ll out-earn you? Or maybe you’re just worried about sharing the remote control?

Let’s be honest, it’s all about ego.

Men want to feel like they’re the breadwinners, the protectors, the alpha males. And having multiple wives makes them feel even more manly. It’s like a trophy collection. The more wives you have, the more points you get on the ‘manliness scale’.

But on the flip side, women can also stop looking at men to provide, care and protect and not give them the entire platter. You see, both are playing games with each other, and I’m not sure how to intervene.

I once heard a joke about a man who had three wives. He told them he was going to the store to buy some milk and asked them if they wanted anything. The first wife said, “I want a loaf of bread.” The second wife said, “I want a dozen eggs.” The third wife said, “I want a man.”

The joke might be funny, but it also highlights a serious issue. Women are often treated as property, as objects to be owned and controlled. They’re not seen as individuals with their own desires, their own dreams.

Oh, and dare I repeat, the women also want to use men to provide everything but will not allow men to decide on their reward. This is the war of the sexes.

But what about the women? Are they just supposed to sit back and be happy with the leftovers? Are they not allowed to have their own desires, their own dreams? Or do they have to settle for being second-class citizens in a patriarchal society? And yet, why is it the man’s responsibility, anyway?

I think it’s time for a revolution. Let’s overthrow this outdated, sexist notion that polygamy is only for men. Women deserve the same rights as men, including the right to marry whomever they please.

I remember a story about a woman in the United States who was denied a marriage licence because she wanted to marry two men. She sued the state and eventually won her case. It was a landmark decision that paved the way for greater equality and acceptance of different relationship structures.

And if some men can’t handle that idea, well, they can just go and live in a cave. Or maybe they can start their own little harem, where they can rule over their submissive wives like the kings they think they are.

May I repeat, if men would be providers and protectors, the women can do the same, too. If they can’t do it, then they must sit down. The truth is that the one who fetched the wood, carried the chicken pack and paid for the gas must be given the biggest piece.

But as for the rest of us, let’s embrace equality and celebrate the diversity of love. Whether it’s monogamy, polygamy or polyamory, let’s choose the relationship that works best for us, without fear of judgement or discrimination.

After all, isn’t that what freedom is all about?