“ALTHOUGH mine didn’t work out after only being married for a year, love and marriage remain a beautiful thing,” says journalist, filmmaker and author Selima Henock (36).
She said this in an interview with The Weekender, following the launch of her book ‘My Nakedness’ in Windhoek last week.
Henock, who started writing her book three years ago, said her aim is to inspire people facing hardships and battling situations similar to what she has overcome, and to remind them that with hard work and commitment, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
She described her divorce as one of the darkest periods of her life and a time during which she was tested emotionally.
However, with support from her loved ones, she was able to break free from harmful thoughts.
“Nobody gets married to divorce, but life happens,” she writes in ‘My Nakedness’.
“I got married in December 2018, and by the end of 2019, my former spouse and I parted ways,” she said.
“I am still an advocate for marriage because I believe it sets a good foundation for a home and upbringing,” Henock said.
When asked for advice for singles looking forward to marriage, Henock said the importance of being well-prepared for marriage matters most.
“We all have different paths, but live in accordance with how God has instituted it – mutual love and respect. Avoid getting married for the wrong reasons,” she advised.
She stressed that there is more to consider before tying the knot, including understanding finances and family backgrounds.
She said there is more to marriage than physical appearance.
“Marry when you are ready. Avoid giving in to societal pressure or the biological clock,” said Henock.
She said marriage doesn’t change a person’s character or habits; what exists before marriage often multiplies thereafter.
She also advised against overspending on weddings.
“Address any issues beforehand because, once married, you will have to live with them. Both partners should be willing to compromise to make it work,” Henock said.
“Avoid unnecessary debt and overspending on big weddings. Have a small, blessed wedding and enjoy a beautiful honeymoon instead,” she suggested.
“A small courtroom or magistrate wedding is also a good union. If you can afford a big celebration, that’s fine, too.”
The book touches on her childhood experiences and enduring bullying due to her body size.
Coming from a family of eight siblings, Henock reflected on her humble beginnings, adding that although they didn’t have it all, she grew up in a loving family.
Growing up at Rehoboth’s Block E, Henock said her upbringing didn’t hold her back but rather motivated her to strive.
Now a senior reporter at the Namibian Broadcasting Corporation, Henock reflected on her career achievements, which have taken her across Africa, Asia and Europe.
Local author and writing coach Martha Khoeses, who helped coach Henock through the writing process, says the experience taught her a lot of patience.
Khoeses encourages more Namibian creatives to tell their own stories.
Academic and author Lisho Mundia describes Henock as a bold woman.
“Writing is an art, and I commend her bravery in sharing her life experience,” he says.
One of the book’s editors, Frieda Mukufa, says: “It’s a very inspirational book that lays bare who the author truly is. It also provides great insight into how to navigate hardships as a young person.”
Henock’s elder brother, Ndakulilwa Nghilukilwa, says: “As a family, we are proud of her. It’s a milestone. It’s not easy to write a book. We would like to see more books, and we wish her all the best.”
The book cover was designed by David Indongo.
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