Don’t Marry the Title

One interesting trend I have noticed in recent years is that a lot of guys seem to be specifically targeting women from a particular profession in Namibia.

Namely, doctors.

Namibian men are after the ‘doctor girlies’, especially those who studied abroad in countries like Ukraine, Russia or Zambia, and don’t forget the University of Namibia School of Medicine.

The gents are actively pursuing these women, selling them all kinds of dreams, hoping to secure a relationship with someone from this field. It’s almost as if being a doctor has become a highly desirable trait in the dating scene.

It’s strange how many men today are entering marriages not out of genuine attraction or deep love for their partners, but rather for a variety of ulterior motives.

Some see marriage as a means to gain social status, using their wives as a symbol of wealth or success. Others seek financial security, treating the union as a transactional arrangement rather than a lifelong commitment. Some marry out of insecurity, hoping that having a wife will validate their worth or mask their personal fears.

Then there are those whose reasons remain known only to them, driven by motivations that outsiders may never fully understand.

To me, marriage should be rooted in love – an unshakable bond between two people who not only cherish each other but also envision a shared future. The core reason should always be the desire to build a life together, to create a family, and to weather life’s ups and downs as a united team.

Anything less feels transactional, and it’s no surprise that marriages built on shallow foundations eventually collapse.

If you look at the timeline of when most couples meet and when they get married, the average is around two years. In my opinion, that’s way too short.

I’m no marriage therapist, but I’ve read a lot and listened to insights from married people, and one thing stands out: truly getting to know each other takes time.

Dating and marriage are two completely different experiences. When you’re dating, it’s just the two of you navigating life together. But marriage? That’s an entirely different dynamic.

You’re not just marrying your partner, you’re marrying into a family. The in-laws, siblings, uncles, aunts and, yes, even the cows and chickens (depending on the culture) become part of your marriage in one way or another. They will have a say in certain decisions, and their influence will be felt, whether directly or indirectly.

For women especially, mental preparation is key.

While you’re running around getting quotes for photoshoots, choosing the perfect wedding gown and sorting out the guest list, it is important to take a moment to really reflect on what you are stepping into.

Marriage is not just about the wedding day; it’s about the life you’re about to build. A strong marriage requires resilience, understanding and acceptance of where you are going. If you go in with the right mindset, your marriage will withstand storms, tsunamis and whatever challenges life throws your way.

So why am I saying all of this?

Because it’s crucial to know your partner on a deeper level before making that lifelong commitment. Understand their upbringing, their values, their habits, their financial situation, every important aspect that will affect your future together.

Most importantly, I strongly believe couples should live together for at least a year before getting married. Nothing exposes true compatibility like sharing a space day in and day out. It allows you to experience the reality of each other’s habits, quirks, and routines in a way that dating never could.

Marriage should be built on a deep understanding and acceptance of the person, not just their title or profession. True success in marriage comes from embracing your partner’s imperfections and loving them for who they truly are.

– Meneer_SK is an advocate for men’s grooming and all matters relating to men. Follow him on Instagram @Meneer_SK