It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon. A stunning couple walks into The Namibian’s offices – they are Panduleni and Chloe Nghipandulwa, a duo who have come to talk about their marriage, life and the works. They’re eager to share their experience as a married couple and so far, it’s been beautiful.
Panduleni and Chloe first met in 2008 when they both attended Delta Secondary School in Windhoek. “I got her number from a friend,” Panduleni says with a cheeky smile.
“He actually asked for my number because he was too shy and after that we started chatting,” Chloe points out. But Panduleni had to work hard for Chloe’s attention because the first two times he asked her out, she said no. “I guess some of my friends didn’t really like it. He was a black guy and I was a coloured girl. But I really didn’t mind that,” Chloe shares.
But as Panduleni recalls, the date was 8 April and it was raining. “That was when I finally said yes,” Chloe shares. “And ever since then, we’ve been together.”
Year’s later, his proposal was part spur of moment, part a result of planning.
“I took her out to News Café one day at Grove Mall, and then I asked her to go to American Swiss, just to do random fittings. It was there and then that I knew and I proposed to her,” Panduleni revealed.
The moment was quite emotional, Chloe says – she was so surprised that he would do something like that. But their relationship also had to stand the test of time after Panduleni went to the University of Cape Town in South Africa to study for four years. They were apart from each other for so long and maintained a long distance relationship. Along the way, they developed a few tricks to keep the relationship strong.
“It’s all about trust and faith,” Panduleni reiterates. “It’s about believing in your relationship,” Chloe adds to the topic. “I think it doesn’t matter what you’re going through, you just have to keep supporting each other, especially in whatever goals the other may have.”
Panduleni believes that young people aren’t invested in their relationships for the long haul. It’s all about here and now. “Young people give up too easily,” he says sternly. “Communicate with your partner. It’s very important. You have to compromise and have faith that it will work. These days, you see that men are not satisfied with one woman and the same can be said for women. They just don’t commit enough to the relationship.”
In Chloe’s opinion, when it comes to long-distance relationships, it is a challenge, but you can make it work. “They’re scared. They fear commitment.”
Today the couple enjoy the fruits of all the years spent loving and learning each other. They have two healthy, happy children.
“It takes teamwork to help each other,” Chloe says about balancing motherhood and being a wife. “It’s when you get to know each other’s habits that you really get used to each other.”
Panduleni also believes that it’s all about patience. “You have to accept your partner for who they are and help them grow.”
One of their biggest challenges as a couple, in the beginning, was the racial difference between the two, and this led their parents to raise eyebrows. “I understand what they meant because I was their daughter, so it was natural that they wouldn’t just accept it in the beginning.”
However, Panduleni asserts that today his relationship with his father-in-law is stable. “We’re so much alike. It took some time to get to know each other, but we have a brilliant relationship. As a father, I understand how someone would feel about their daughter, but everything is fine.”
Sharing the nitty gritty on Namibian relationships today, Panduleni feels that there’s too much violence against women going on. “I’m tired of reading about ‘passion killing’. We need to learn to appreciate and love our women. Men don’t really appreciate women as they should.”
From a woman’s perspective, Chloe says: “It’s basically the same for us. We have to understand that men go through a lot as well, but we need to support our men and respect them as well.”
“A lot of the time people say that they want to focus on their careers,” Panduleni states, “but if the love is the greatest power, then it can push you to do even bigger and better things. She is that pillar beside you, that support system that you need”.
The couple end off with saying that people need to start believing in love again.
Hopefully their love story will inspire you to do just that.
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