Dealing With a Narcissistic Stakeholder

Morna-Ikosa

An organisation has various stakeholders.

However, many stakeholders’ management theories fail to identify and classify a narcissist in a corporate setting.

It has become important to identify and classify stakeholders according to their personality traits, as some personalities have a detrimental effect on an organisation’s culture, efficiency and productivity.

Moreover, several people are starting to realise the effects narcissistic behaviour has on their mental health and overall well-being.

Two years ago, I co-authored an article on corporate bullying.

The article received tremendous response, as many readers could relate to the content of the article.

Most of the responses noted that the bullying they experienced emanated from bosses who displayed narcissistic behavioural traits.

But what are those traits?
Before narcissistic behaviour traits are identified, it is important to first define the term narcissism.

There are two types of narcissists – overt and covert narcissists.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines narcissism as being “extremely self-centred with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself”.

Narcissism is also a mental health condition that is characterised by a lack of empathy, manipulation, a sense of grandiosity, and a constant need for praise and attention.

A narcissist wants to be admired and held in high regard, while breaking down others, to make him/her feel better.

Although the above definition encompasses both types of narcissism, it would take discernment and wisdom to identify covert narcissists, because they are under the radar.

Susan Albers, a physiologist, says a covert narcissist tends to be overly sensitive to criticism, has social anxiety, suffers from depression, is self-deprecating, and receives attention from others.

He/she tends to be passive-aggressive and revengeful.

He/she also feels misunderstood and has learnt to suppress his/her true feelings.

He/she is extremely insecure, and torments him/herself with a barrage of negative self-talk.

Covert narcissism is a bit more dangerous than overt narcissism, because it is difficult to detect and manage.

Everyone has narcissistic traits in their personalities.

Humans have an innate need to be appreciated, admired and recognised – even if most do not openly admit it.
However, there are individuals who take narcissism a notch higher.

Those individuals, when in a leadership position, are destructive and destroy anything they see as a threat to the image they have of themselves or when they feel their self-interests are threatened.

Teams led by such leaders tend to adopt a silo working mindset and model self-centred traits that do not inculcate a culture of teamwork and collaboration within an organisation.

Narcissistic leaders/people are manipulative, persuasive, intelligent and charming.

They love to be at the centre of attention, and getting praise for things they did not do.

They are competitive and have a low tolerance for criticism. When criticised, they tend to berate and belittle a person.

They play the victim and would in turn use every opportunity to punish you (which is a form of manipulation) by, for example, ignoring you, refusing to talk to you, and badmouthing you to others.

This is all to paint you as the villain and them as the hero.

They are good at lying and storytelling. They display characteristics akin to people who are insecure.

They also hold long grudges and do not admit or apologise when they were wrong, because they believe they are never wrong.

A wise saying states: “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes and conceit? There is more hope for a [self-confident] fool than for him.”

  • Morna Ikosa is a senior corporate communications and brand reputation strategist. Reach her at micommunicationscc@gmail.com

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