Gentlemen, Are We Ready For a Petticoat Government?

There is a wave of excitement and awe spreading throughout Uncle Sam’s front yards about the idea of having the first ever Black American and Asian American female presidential candidate in the person of Kamala Harris.

I do not know much about her, save for the fact that she has sent too many Black people to jail over something as silly as a joint of weed.

Yet at the same time, I am left to wonder why and how Americans find it funny to call fellow countrymen African Americans and Asian Americans when all are in the same shi*hole, colloquially named the United States of America.

Yes, I said it.

If Africa could be seen as such by the likes of Donald Trump, then the recent attempt on his life, his claims of electoral rigging, the primitive assault on the Capitol Hill which he led from the back, plus the drug pandemic on the streets of West Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana, etc., prove that both Africa and the United States (US) are in the same situation anyway.

The fact that the tacit endorsement of Harris in place of the old and senile ‘Creepy Joe’ has thus far done very little to outdo Trump in the polls gives the clearest picture of how the gender card will likely not be an easy one for any woman to make it to the most powerful office.

The same will go for the many women who are running in Namibia. The fact that we have never had a woman president before means there is just too much work these women have on their tables to be able to rack up the numbers needed for them to break the final ceiling.

Of course, a majority of the middle class is by now used to madam bosses running offices on the corporate highway, but truth be told, there is still a hell of a lot of us out there that don’t believe a woman president is ideal.

And by “us” I do not mean me included. I mean, do I even know what I want, I haven’t even registered to vote!

But let’s be clear, the conditions that define the presidential race of Harris in Uncle Sam’s kitchen are not the same as those that define that of Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah (NNN) in Tate [Sam] Nujoma’s Namibia, or Ally Angula for that matter.

While Harris may need to demonstrate a deep understanding of the economic dynamics in the US and clearly and convincingly articulate her policy positions, NNN just needs a few rallies with half-drunk minions shouting revolutionary slogans to get the boat sailing towards State House.

This is so because elections in Africa are seldom about issues, and if they were, then hell, Jacob Zuma would never have racked up those numbers and forced the African National Congress’ decline, such as seen recently in Satafrika.

I mean, who in their right mind would vote for a tired political dinosaur with a history of washing his thingikie in the shower after sex to prevent AIDS?

It’s outrageous.

The man walked out of the shower, out of a rape case, out of selling out an entire country to a pack of triple-chin, double-belly Indian business tycoons. And from running down an entire economy right into the pits of blackouts, to leading the second-biggest opposition party south of the Orange River.

Worse still, there is someone out there ready to vote for Angula, whose main reason for running is based on the absurd claim that one day she fell asleep and dreamed God told her she would be president.

But is God telling us we should vote for her?

I don’t know, but maybe you know.

I seriously do not know what Rosa Namises is saying on this campaign trail, save for the fact that she appears here and there speaking about people pooping in public, children being raped and then disappearing into her Rasta locks.

I mean, I still love my mother, but …

Then there is the little-known Kunene regional coordinator of the Republican Party, Lisbeth Kaumbi, who has promised us she can transform Namibia in five years.

With what money, meme?

You clearly have very little if anything to fund your own campaign? Before we could get shocked by her announcement, her own boss, Henk Mudge, was the very first to jump out of his chair and exclaim, “Bloody hell!”

The same goes for Harris in the US, who has been speaking through her nose and up to now I have no idea what exactly she is saying.

Will she end the war in Ukraine, the genocide in Gaza, and bring down the temperature in the South China Sea, where the Chinese have been faking attacks on a cringing Taiwan?

I don’t know, but maybe you know.

Are our women running because it is fashionable to do so?

I don’t mean to sound like I have no trust in women presidential candidates, but if we are to be serious about a petticoat government, gentlemen, then our contenders must pull up their socks.

I am just saying!