I Never Knew

There was a certain point in my life when everything was falling apart. There was a moment when my plans were going the opposite way and all I thought of was death.

That particular moment I thought dying was the only option. I was thinking of giving up on everything and quitting. I thought of burying myself alive or maybe running to the wilderness and giving myself to the wild animals. I even thought of drowning myself or hanging myself. Life just wasn’t working.

With all those thoughts and wishing to wake up dead, I wanted to run away and never come back. Sometimes I dreamt of being in a place where happiness was the only thing I’d have. Sometimes I’d imagine just having a life where love, joy and peace were all I felt. Sometimes I’d shed litres of tears. Then I would come back to normal and realise those were all just thoughts and my imagination.

Do not cry.

There is a reason for every bit of pain you are going through now, have gone through or will go through in future. Every happy person you see has a lot of problems you don’t know about. Every happy person has gone through some pain.

It is not because they are strong that they overcame all the obstacles they encountered along their life. It is not because their problems were not as big as you assume yours are. No. It is because they looked at the positive side of life, because they killed all the negative thoughts they had in life and because they smiled at their problems.

I may not know what you are going through now but I am sure not all of you are well. I might seem to have no idea, but I know that there is a time when all you think of is all bad and negative stuff, the destruction and the killing.

Believe me, not every smile represents happiness. Not every tear drop resembles pain or hurt. The happiest people are the most troubled people, they are the most hurt people. The happiest-looking people are not actually the happiest people. They smile on the outside but feel pain inside.

Never give up just because you did not get what you wanted and never quit just because things are not as easy as you dreamt. That was a dream and for every dream to come true, the dreamer has to give up on sleeping, wake up and work on his/her dreams.

There is always time for everything and some things will not happen no matter how hard you try.

This is not to discourage you but just to tell you that there is time for everything, that is why we do not experience day’s light and night’s darkness at the same time.

I came to realise and believe fully that what does not kill you actually makes you stronger. I also came to a point of discovering that we do not fail because we do not know, but because we invest too little effort.

The less effort invested in something, the higher the risk of losing or failing at it. I also discovered that fear is always the main thing we have when doing something. Fear is actually an abbreviation of ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’, which in some ways makes sense to me.

Always look at the brighter side of a dark room and remain blessed. Much love, youngsters.