Men, Taking Responsibility and Child Support

Every other day, we hear stories about child support, whether it’s within our circles of close friends, family members or even in the media.

It’s a topic that sparks heated debates, and while there are always two sides to every story, today I want to call out all the men who continue to neglect their responsibilities.

I know it’s never easy to look in the mirror and admit our faults. In fact, self-reflection can be one of the most uncomfortable things we face, but avoiding it doesn’t mean the problem disappears.

Growth begins with accountability. If we ever want to become better fathers, better men and better role models, we have to be honest with ourselves. And that starts by having the courage to admit when we have failed.

How can you call yourself a gentleman when you fail to support the very children you brought into this world? Innocent little ones, who never asked to be here, are left to suffer because of your irresponsibility.

Being a father is more than just biology, it’s about being present, supportive and accountable. Sadly, far too many men walk away from their duties – not because they lack the financial means, but because they simply lack the willingness.

Let’s be honest: most of the time, it’s not about lacking money. It’s about pride, resentment, denial or plain negligence.

From what I’ve seen and heard, some of the main reasons why men don’t support their children include: ongoing tension with the mother, denial of paternity, being genuinely financially unstable, or a complete lack of responsibility.

These are just a few of the common justifications men use to walk away from their children. But excuses don’t raise children – actions do.

On the other side of the coin, there are also instances where some mothers play a part in this dynamic. Some adopt a mindset of “I’ll take care of my child on my own”, refusing support out of pride or independence. Others might say, “I don’t need your money,” cutting off the father’s involvement completely.

In some cases, mothers may misuse the child support money or create emotional and physical distance between the child and their father. All these things, whether intentional or not, contribute to a strained or completely broken co-parenting situation.

When these issues pile up, the law is often forced to step in with child support cases, court orders, visitation battles – all things that could have been avoided if both parties simply chose to act with maturity and a sense of shared responsibility.

Let’s not forget: regardless of how the child was conceived – whether it was from a one-night stand, a casual relationship or a broken marriage – both the man and the woman knew what they were doing. A child came from that moment, and that child deserves love, care, support and opportunity from both parents.

At the end of the day, when support is withheld or parenting becomes a battleground, the one who suffers most is the child.

They are the ones who miss out on quality medical care, good education, decent clothing, participation in sports or extracurricular activities and so many other vital parts of a healthy and happy childhood.

The impact of parental neglect, be it deliberate or a result of conflict, is a burden no child should ever bear.

There are fathers who do well in this area by showing up and providing for their children, and their efforts must not go unnoticed. To those men: keep leading by example. Take pride in your responsibility and continue to uplift others.

≠≠But let’s not stop there, let’s challenge the silence. If you know someone avoiding their role as a parent, speak up.

Hold them accountable. There’s nothing honourable about abandoning a child – it’s the mark of a coward. And our children deserve better.

– Meneer_SK is an advocate for men’s grooming and all matters relating to men. Follow him on Instagram.