Mommy,They Called Me a Name!

If there’s one thing more fragile than a Namibian politician’s ego, it’s that same ego wrapped in a defamation lawsuit.

Imagine a proud public figure slides into the High Court, clutching a bruised reputation like a child holding a broken toy.

“Mommy Lady Justice! They were mean to me! Make them stop!”

And then, after much foot stomping and dramatic sighs, the judge calmly pats their head and tells them to go home and grow up.

It’s becoming quite the tradition. A politician takes offence, files a lawsuit, and marches into court expecting the judge to deliver swift vengeance upon their critics.

But, instead of a legal spanking for the offender, they find themselves on the receiving end of an expensive lesson in freedom of speech.

Suddenly they’re not just insulted, they’re also financially wounded.

Nothing stings quite like being ordered to pay the legal fees of the very person who allegedly ‘wronged’ you.

Now, where would the spoiled little brat politician run to beg for justice? Huh? Daddy Supreme Court?

That auntie is known for siding with Mommy Lady Justice, unless, perhaps, she did not follow the house rules.

You know, the rules hung on the fridge and in the other little book called the Constitution.

This is the perfect demonstration of good parenting when it comes to settling disputes between the children in the house.

If only all tantrums ended in such poetic justice.

The latest ruling has sent a strong message to all the thin-skinned officials out there: political criticism is part of the job.

If you can’t handle a little heat, the kitchen – or rather, public office – isn’t the playground for you.

But alas, some politicians seem determined to treat the courts like a nursery where they can tattle on every mean word hurled their way.

One can almost hear the collective sigh of judges across the country.

They sit there, listening to yet another politician wailing about how their ‘good name’ was dragged through the mud, only to deliver the same response every time: “Did they lie, that your forehead could be used to launch a military plane?”

Because the thing is: If the statement in question is factual, no amount of pouting will make it defamatory.

And if it’s political commentary? Well, welcome to democracy.

Of course, the real tragedy for these wounded warriors is discovering that not only will they fail to silence their critics, but they’ll also have to empty their own pockets to cover the costs of their doomed crusade.

This is the moment when reality finally sinks in.

Their courtroom tantrum has backfired spectacularly, and now they must do the most painful thing – pay up.

One can almost picture them scrolling through their banking app, staring at the number with deep existential dread.

“But … but … I was the victim!” they whisper to themselves, as their account balance weeps in the background.

And let’s not forget – politicians are human too. They feel pain, they cry, and yes, they do go broke. How else do you explain the corruption?

There’s something almost poetic about the way this case ended, because, for some time now, if you took someone to court for defamation, you were almost guaranteed a win.

The problem would only be the reward, which would be pittance. With this ruling, oh boy, you’re going to have to think twice before being a screamer.

As things stand now, a politician who was once confident that they would be vindicated will likely leave the courtroom not only still criticised, but also poorer for the effort.

And yet, despite the humiliation, another one will surely try again.

Hope, as they say, is a powerful thing, even when it’s as misguided as believing the courts will protect you from the big, bad world of public opinion.

Maybe it’s time for an intervention. Instead of running to the courts every time their feelings are hurt, politicians should consider a different approach.

Maybe a workshop titled ‘How to Cope When People Say Mean Things About You’.

Or better yet, an online support group where they can console one another with stories of how cruel the world has been to their delicate reputations.

“Hello, my name is honourable So-and-So, and someone called me corrupt on Facebook.”

At the end of the day, the courts have made it clear: Freedom of speech isn’t going anywhere, and politicians should start investing in thicker skin instead of lawsuits.

If they refuse to learn, they’ll keep getting the same expensive lesson.

And while they sob into their now lighter wallets, the rest of us will carry on, enjoying our right to say what needs to be said – no permission needed.