Nightlife for Men

While the nightlife is not really my scene, I have witnessed enough to know how things go down.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I was out with the boys, just hanging out, having a few beers – nothing fancy. Then we ordered a bottle of whisky … A group of girls suddenly surrounded us. There was something about that moment when the bottle arrived at the table. The lights, the attention – it made us feel like we were on top of the world.

I know a few guys who live for that rush, that feeling of status when they are popping bottles. In that moment, you feel like the man. But the real question is, are you really? Or is it all just an illusion?

Back to the story. We didn’t know where the girlies came from, but they were there, like moths to a flame. It’s an interesting one, and while I’m not saying it’s how things should be, it’s definitely how things are right now.

Picture this: you’re at a somewhat chaotic establishment, and there is a group of girls having drinks. They recognise one guy they went to primary school with, and suddenly they are part of your group. The real issue is us men. We hate looking broke, and even worse, we often don’t know how to say no.

Before we know it, we are paying for everyone’s drinks, but there’s a catch. We do it with the expectation of getting her number or even taking her home. As Zakes Ngulelo once said: “We live in a messed-up society, man.”

Picture this, many bottle girls have found themselves getting caught up in the fast-paced, after-hours lifestyle. I know quite a few who ended up getting pregnant from these kinds of activities.

The constant night shifts, interactions with high rollers and exposure to an environment where everything seems larger than life.

A lot of times, these girls get impressed by a man’s spending power, the flashy bottles, the luxurious lifestyle and the endless flow of money. It’s a seductive atmosphere, and it’s easy to get swept up in it.

This is where one-night stands often come into play. People might think one-night stands are a thing of the past, an outdated concept, but the truth is they’re still happening today. To my knowledge, this trend seemed to have died around 2011 or 2012, but you will be surprised by how much it continues. It’s not as obvious as it used to be but the outcomes of these late-night activities can still be shocking.

The consequences that come from such moments, whether it’s unexpected pregnancies or emotional damage – are still very real. The nightlife may seem glamorous, but beneath it there are stories that aren’t as shiny.

All I’m saying is, as men, we need to be more mindful of our intentions when we engage in the nightlife scene. Going out should be about enjoying ourselves, not using the night as a way to drag women into situations for other purposes.

Whether it’s a restaurant, a bar or a club, if you can’t bring your woman along, don’t go out expecting to ‘get’ a woman. It’s important to shift our mindset from chasing quick encounters to simply enjoying the moment. We need to remember that the nightlife isn’t a hunting ground – it’s a space for people to unwind and have fun.

The idea of buying drinks or paying for someone’s night shouldn’t come with strings attached. Respect women’s autonomy and go out to have a good time for yourself, not because you’re expecting something in return. Most importantly, drink responsibly. If you’re going to have a good time, don’t let alcohol cloud your judgement.

– Meneer_SK is an advocate for men’s grooming and all matters 

relating to men. Follow him on Instagram @Meneer_SK