Poor Boy Child

For the longest time – I’m talking centuries – men have been telling us that they are the natural leaders of the earth.

My entire life I have had to live in a world where men control and create everything, and treat the rest of us like we are just going along for the ride. Most CEOs, millionaires, presidents, monarchs and board members are men. Even professions that are seen as feminine, like cooking or art, are dominated by men on the high income-earning end of the scale. Women belong in the kitchen, unless it’s a high-paying position, right?

So that’s why I find it funny when there are all these complaints about the boy child apparently being left behind. The only proof anyone has to offer that our country is only focusing on women and girls – and leaving everyone else behind – is in the demographics of our newly elected parliament. Apparently there being ten women and nine men is a clear sign of them being left behind. The inclusion of any number of women is apparently because of their gender, and nothing else.

The number of men who have told me that this is just the natural order of things is too many to count on one hand, and is suspiciously similar to white supremacy.

It’s like the way white people complain about diversity and affirmative action policies, because they are used to being the main characters. Colonialism and apartheid were literal systems of affirmative action for white people. Patriarchy is affirmative action for men, and they’ve been eating good for a long time.

What privileged people won’t ever acknowledge is that the entire world, our societies and our way of living are all curated for them. Since we live in a world that will always be biased in favour of some groups, there has to be not just a correction, but an exaggerated effort to allow women and girls to catch up and for once feel what it’s like to be the favourite child.

Also, why is it only considered “empowering” when it’s someone other than you? Do you not consider the treatment of men in general as another form of affirmative action? Are all men really delusional enough to believe they’ve dominated for so long because they were simply more intelligent and deserving than women? I could laugh.

We’ve had to endure useless men leaders for so long who only got to the top based on anatomy. If it was about skills or merit, a natural gender balance would have been achieved on its own a long time ago.

Who’s to say that more women taking on leadership positions or being given scholarship opportunities is not because they are also just more deserving? Why can’t we peddle that excuse for ourselves as well?

There’s a saying: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” And while it’s definitely true, I find it funny that people only ever call for fairness after spending years benefitting from the first wrong. Suddenly it shouldn’t be about gender, when it’s already been about gender all along.

The people who’ve always been on top should be more grateful that we aren’t the same as them. The worst thing we want to do is empower ourselves and take up space where we couldn’t before.

The worst things men have done to us? Subjugated us, excluded us, abused us, abandoned us. If women start oppressing men in the same way, for at least a few hundred years, maybe I’d be willing to hear their complaints.

Men have long told us they are naturally more capable than women, so why don’t they empower themselves? Why do they need interventions to help them? If men are who they say they are, then they have no reason to complain. We need to make men into men again.

Women empower each other while men tell each other not to cry, not to have emotions. Men could be hosting conferences, mentorship programmes and support groups for each other, but instead they get tenders, get into office, buy themselves sports cars and recruit ice boys to follow them around – but they never really excel.

As an anarchist, I’m always going to go for the most radical option. Luckily for you all, there are some gentle, forgiving women on earth. We, as women, have fought and endured for a long time, and if we had spent that time continuing to placate the other half of the population, we wouldn’t have made progress.

But now is our time to shine, thrive and excel. Essentially what I am saying is that we – ladies – are the captains now.

– Anne Hambuda is a writer, social commentator and oet. Follow her online or email her at annehambuda@gmail.com for more.