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Sugar and Spice…A Little Less Hesitation

It’s a Tuesday afternoon and I’m cyber-stalking my colleague and friend Martha Mukaiwa. Partly because I’m in dire need of inspiration for my column, but mostly because for the last few weeks, I’ve been feeling restless.

Like all I want to do is get up and go. Do things. See places. Live. And what better way to live (albeit vicariously) than through someone who just packed up their life and hopped on a plane to Thailand?

In between heavy sighs evoked by clicking through her pictures, wondering what’s in the coconut she’s sipping on in her profile picture and shamelessly scrolling through her Facebook profile, I came across Martha’s latest status update. “Life isn’t living the same year over and over until it’s over. Shake it up,” it read. Immediately I found myself annoyed. “Easy for you to say,” I thought. “You’re all the way over there, living it up while I’m staring at this blank screen, willing the words for this column to form.” I closed the webpage and went back to staring at a cursor, taunting me with every blink. And then, two seconds later, I felt terrible. Not only because I was being insanely childish, but because I shouldn’t be jealous of my friend. Especially not for doing what I wish I had the guts to do.

And then it hit me: What’s stopping me from living the life I want to live? From making unforgettable memories? From turning my life into the adventure I wish it could be? The answer? Only me. I keep thinking about how I want to learn to knit, learn how to ride a bike, repaint my room… All of these little things before I get to the big goals on my bucket list. Taking a year off to travel. Writing that novel. Going back to university. But for some or other reason, instead of doing, I hesitate. Instead of living, I envy those who are.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Tried something new. Something different. Something you’ve always thought about but never had the courage to do. It doesn’t even have to be something life-changing. It can be something as small as trying a new restaurant or dyeing your hair red. Or blue. Or green, for that matter. When was the last time you did something that excited you? Something that made you smile like an idiot? Something that made you sing in the morning?

Too often we allow ourselves to think that other people are more fortunate, more favoured because they’re living the life we wish we could live. But the truth is, they’re just a little more courageous. It doesn’t take a big bang to change a life. We don’t all have to fly half way across the globe to find our happy. Sometimes all it takes is a little leap of faith. A little less ‘what if?’ and a little more ‘why not?’. A little less ‘some day’, a little more ‘today’. A little less ‘soon’, a little more ‘right damn now’.

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