Customize Consent Preferences

We use cookies to help you navigate efficiently and perform certain functions. You will find detailed information about all cookies under each consent category below.

The cookies that are categorized as "Necessary" are stored on your browser as they are essential for enabling the basic functionalities of the site. ... 

Always Active

Necessary cookies are required to enable the basic features of this site, such as providing secure log-in or adjusting your consent preferences. These cookies do not store any personally identifiable data.

No cookies to display.

Functional cookies help perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collecting feedback, and other third-party features.

No cookies to display.

Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics such as the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.

No cookies to display.

Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.

No cookies to display.

Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with customized advertisements based on the pages you visited previously and to analyze the effectiveness of the ad campaigns.

No cookies to display.

Banner Left
Banner Right

Sugar and Spice … Don’t Call Me Baby

Last Saturday, I woke up to an extremely disturbing Facebook message. A man I do not know felt the overwhelming urge to send me a sexually explicit message detailing the things he would like to do to me. I’ll save you the creepy details because no one deserves to read that kind of sh*t on an empty stomach.

After promptly blocking and reporting him for harassment, I stayed in bed for a while just thinking about that message, and several other similar instances that women face on a daily basis. And I got really, really angry. So angry that I’m still pissed about it.

I’m pissed because men feel like they are entitled to anything and everything about a woman. Whether that means sending her unsolicited and explicit messages, or leering and jeering at her from across a street. As if she’s not just trying to live her life without being bothered.

So on behalf of every woman who’s tired of your sh*t, here’s my open letter to the men of Namibia, and the world:

Dear Strange Man I Do Not Know (Or Want to Know, By the Looks of Things),

Don’t call me baby. I am not your skattebol, sweetheart or your size. I have no interest in whether you find me beautiful. If you really wanted to pay me a compliment, you’d do it like a civilised human being instead of screaming, whistling and jeering at me from across the street.

I do not owe you a damn thing. Not my time, not my attention, not my politeness, and certainly not my name and number. Don’t force me into lying that I have a husband just so you’ll leave me alone.

Do not attempt to grab my arm or hold my hand. In a world where women get brutally raped and murdered every single day, your action will be met with a violent reaction. Do not touch me. I am not your property. If I wanted your affection, you would know.

I don’t need your flattery. You leering and jeering at me from across a street, in a mall or anywhere else does not flatter me. I don’t get dressed for you, I don’t do my hair for you and I don’t put on make-up for you either. I don’t look good for you. I look good for me. And as much as you might like what I look like, it is absolutely and positively fine to keep that little nugget of information to yourself.

Don’t draw comparisons between street harassment and ‘macking’ on a woman. There’s a big difference between genuinely approaching a woman and making crude comments on the street. If I want your attention, I’ll let you know. A grown woman has the capacity to flirt, to engage and to seek out a man’s attention, should she want it.

And if, after all of this, you’re still confused about what to do and what not to do when you see a woman somewhere out there living her life, here’s a handy tip: Don’t do anything. Leave that woman alone. Go about your business.

Stay informed with The Namibian – your source for credible journalism. Get in-depth reporting and opinions for only N$85 a month. Invest in journalism, invest in democracy –
Subscribe Now!

Latest News