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Sugar and Spice…Lessons From My Mother

Today, 11 March, is my mother’s birthday.

My first love, my longest-serving teacher, my very best friend turns 65 today.

As the woman who birthed me, raised me, taught me how to read and write, made me blow my nose when I didn’t want to, combed my hair every morning and taught me how to cook and clean turns a year older, I… I don’t know how I feel.

I think of my mother and my heart feels like it might burst from all the love.

I think of my mother and I realise that all the things about her that drive me up the wall are things I do too.

I look at my mother and realise that we’re more alike than we realise.

I look at my mother and realise that she’s growing older and I’m growing up and that neither of us will ever have as much time as we really want.

With each other; for all the things we still want to do.

Today, on her birthday, I think of the woman who has been raising my brothers and I single-handedly for the last 10 years, the woman who put me through school and university, the woman I call when I have to make a big decision and need some perspective, the woman I argue with more than I argue with anyone, the woman who has a wicked sense of humour, the woman to whom love and kindness are second nature…

Today I think about my mother, and I celebrate her.

For all she has been, for all she will be and for all the lessons she has taught me.

Lessons like:

• Always speak up for yourself. Tell people when they hurt your feelings and when they’ve done you wrong. In the same breath, tell them when they do right. When you appreciate them, when you love them, when you’re sorry. Tell them.

• Don’t take sh*t. From anyone. Stand up for yourself, even if it means people won’t like you.

• Clean up as you go when you’re cooking and baking so the mess at the end is a lot less daunting. (I’m still learning to implement this one…)

• Don’t ever snoep anyone food. When you have, give. If you don’t have much, share the little there is. And when you’re a mother, you go without when you have to.

• Be fearless. Whether it’s bugs or checking out for ‘bad guys’, when something needs doing, you do it.

• Be picky about your undies. Never wear dirty or tattered underwear. You never know what might happen or who might see it.

• When you know, you know. Whether you’ve been dating that person for a month or a year, you will know whether they’re right for you or not.

• And in the same vein: Whether you’ve been dating for a year or 10, when you get married, there will always be things you didn’t know about your partner.

• If you keep a clean house, you don’t have to jump up when someone shows up unexpected.

• And: It doesn’t always have to be “go big or go home”. A small act of kindness can make someone’s day. Don’t neglect the little things.

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