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Sugar and Spice…Tumultuous 2015

The end of the year is a b*tch. Just as you think you’ve made it through the slump, survived year-end parties and December shopping and been left with just enough sanity to see Christmas, you realise… It’ll be 2016 soon.

And soon after that, you’ll start wondering ‘what the f*ck have I been doing with my life again?!’

As the year draws to a close, there’s much celebration, eating, drinking (lots of drinking) and being merry, but often, the quiet moments are the ones that f*ck you over.

They’re the ones that remind you of just how tough the year’s been, just how much you’ve been through, just how many times you’ve cried.

Looking back at 2015 will remind you of having to get over the love of your life. Having to let go and let God when it felt like your Best Friend wasn’t your Best Friend any more. About the tall funny guy who damn near broke your heart with plain old disregard. The foreign friend who wasn’t very much of a friend. The “nice guy” who turned out to be a pretty sh*tty person.

And all the times you laid awake wondering “what’s the point of it all?”

For me, 2015 was a year of loss. Friends, weight and direction.

2015 was the year that made me wonder if my dream job was my dream job after all, if this love thing is even worth all the heartache, if being a nice person is all they make it out to be and if the desperate seek for a change of scenery isn’t just a nice way of saying ‘I’m running away’.

I don’t know what you’ve been through this year. I don’t know how many times you’ve been tired of going it alone. I don’t know how many times you’ve resented your cellphone or alarm clock for forcing you awake. I don’t know how many times you’ve wished you could click your heels and be somewhere, anywhere else.

I don’t know how tough this year has been for you.

I don’t know what you had to do to stay afloat.

I don’t know whether the worst is over for you or whether it’s only just started.

I don’t know much about most of you but what I do know is that even if this year showed you flames, even if it’s been more bad than good, even if you’re tired of being tired, you’ve made it to the end of yet another year.

Not by default, but by consciously getting up every day, doing what needs to be done and making moves. On and up and forward.

The quiet moments this festive season might remind you of how much sh*t life’s thrown your way, but it reminds me of how much I’ve survived. And how much you’ve survived too. If anything else, let 2015 remind us of how beautifully we survive and how determined we are, despite it all, that things will get better.

Because they will.

Here’s to the end of tumultuous 2015 and the beginning of 2016 – may it be the year of abundance, the year of hard work materialising, the year of more rain than drought, more happy than sad, more money than lack, more of the good and significantly less of the bad.

Amen, amen, amen.

– cindy@namibian.com.na; @SugaryOblivion on Twitter and Instagram

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